It always amazes me the important role of communication in our lives, as the maintool to interpellate the reality around us, because it is a medium that we can manage our own will and It is one of the best tool that you can use to analyze yourself and answer your last question: Who am I ?. However, samples of communication today, indicate that the facts are more indicative of truthfulness than words. And the hackneyed phrase “words are gone with the wind“, gaining strength to meet the incongruity of the issuer, justified or not, and, ultimately, to recognize the action, as the secondary stealing the spotlight the leading lady. According to a study by Dr. Luan Brizendine, published in his book “The FemaleBrain”, it is estimated that a woman can transmit about 20,000 words per day,and a man, about 7000 words. That is, we pass a vast content at the end of day, in other words, we interact withthe world around us, through verbal communication. At this point, we can consider communication as vital to our development as individuals and as being relating instrument. So what is happening to us ?. We made use of technology to develop innovative media, we have developedmany theories and applications to be more effective in the management of this instrument, education sets its foundation on the basis of communication, the media is more than ever present in each minute of our lives, and … however, if we did an exercise in self-reflection, we would end up not being satisfied, how we manage the dialogue in our different systems of relationship. When I reflect on this, I come, in the foreground, the text “Creative Intelligence“philosopher Alfonso López Quintás. In this book, López Quintás, explains that “finding implies entreverar own sphereof life to another reality actively react to my presence. Meet is to be present, in thesense of exchanging creative possibilities of an order or another. It also introduces how we should prepare for the meeting, which is none otherthan effort. we must strive to prepare for the meeting. Immediately appeared the following questions: how we prepare ?, what do we need to stake ?. We can consider the following requirements that enhance the meeting:
1. Attitude of generosity.
This is starting the encounter, dialogue, unpretentious domain or possess. Unlikegiven the possibilities of enrichment reporting, we must be generous to build a new creative space.
2. Stand at the right distance. Sometimes we are too close to each other or to a far distance, we can not consider the totality of reality presented to us either in the form of a painting, a photograph, or a person. What we do is that “out of focus”. For the meeting, we forget that the person you are going to establish communication, a dialogue, etc consists of a dimension or biographical, family, educational, workplace, etc. and possibly it help us connect better and above all, to respect. On the other hand, no position on the proper distance, it can lead to melting,leading to lose that perspective and not get neither the presence nor the meeting.And also, it can lead to estrangement.
3. Avoid reductionism. Involves allowing let the other be what it is. Do not reduce it to our convenience or interests, not stereotype the person. We fully in the field of criticism, the label trial.We see and reduce or magnify the other, depending on the lens that we apply.
4. Tolerating the risk involved delivery.
Difficult dilemma: Do we cover with the armor, or remove us ?. How you present mask dance of the meeting ?. To practice fair play, must surrender to the meeting, being yourself. Quitting the fears, barriers, beliefs aside, because the result is worth it.
5. Be available for playmate. The desire to get into communication, carrying the suitcase the above requirements, makes us available to the other. It is out of the comfort zone and be willing to be in dialogue. It is important to mention the well-known saboteurs as distraction, not present, or the most serious of all, do not interact and opt for silence (it is preferable to communicate our unwillingness to dialogue and give it a reason).
6. Accuracy and confidence. Openness and transparency both in our words, and what motivates us to say them. Alignment between what I think and what I say. In many areas it is difficult to apply this requirement, but we must make an effort again, and opt for a constructive, positive, assertive dialogue, and, of course, respect. Confidence in the transmitter and receiver. Go to your meeting with the trust placed in me: In my courage, my courage to leave the comfort zone, to show that I am, to be frank, ultimately, confidence in my authenticity. And trust in thee, to know that you are willing to encounter, suggests that,recognize my predisposition and the requirements that I put into practice.
7. The gratitude and patience. This is welcome and thank all that enriches us, and what better area than theevent. On the other hand, we talk about patience, and ability to adapt to the pace and composition of the other (their times, their silence, their form of expression,nonverbal language, their accents, their sense of humor, etc). Patience to recognize the other, to accept it, to listen, to communicate.
8. Ability of wonder and awe. It is one of the most beautiful and enriching encounter concepts.
The amazement. Empty ourselves of what we expect, lower body, eyes squinting child, be present to impress by the wonder of what surrounds us. It is increasingly difficult to rave about, take everything for granted, we expect “the most difficult yet,” novelty. And yet, is not it amazing what happens around you ?: From sunrises (how is itpossible that is such a perfect night and day cycle?) Through the TV (an invention where images are , which are sent through a wave?) to the same fact of life.
9. The understanding and sympathy. To understand is to accept that the other can be different, take the dialogic look, a holistic understanding of the person. Means accepting that are unique beings, but different. Sympathy, understood as “easy to tune with others, engage their tastes and way of being, coupling step with yours, vibrate with their fortunes and misfortunes.”
10. The tenderness, kindness, friendliness. It is important to reflect itself adopted this approach in our communications. It would be valuable to reflect on integrating these components in our dialogues. Stop screaming, verbal violence, abuse of speech. Even with those we love, comes these harmful attitudes. For what ?. The result,although we think that we will win the war of words, not worth, not make us better,not allow yourself to be the other. Only wins the ego. Lost ground. Be detached. Incorporate these ingredients to your life purpose. Enrich it. Allows accompany you on the way to meet. Needless to say, the effect it has on education, organization of enterprises, inrelationships. Just choose how you want to present to meet: With a hammer, or a hug ?.
11. The flexibility. If I am inflexible, I is difficult to connect with others. I find it difficult to understand,recognize, value, and above all, amazed. “The inflexible man admits more perspective than his. No acknowledges that other light sources may be able to surprise you with ideas and fruitful projects. It is, therefore, unilateral and impoverishes his life to end, as close to the inexhaustible source of wealth that is the game of encounter. “ I would go a little further. I’d ask you replanteases your theories, your beliefs, your habits, your hobbies, your phobias, your tics, and explores the following questions: What am I missing acting this way ?, how my life would be without this behavior?What would get? What else would get ?.
12. Fidelity. “It is the spiritual capacity to fulfill the promises. He who is faithful fulfills the promise despite causing changes over time in the ideas, beliefs and feelings.” Applied to the meeting, fidelity is postulated as the finale of the dialogue. It is the natural extension of candor and veracity. Is to prevent words are blown away. Is to take action, the content of the communication, because we are, among other things, what we say and what we do. This fidelity, also has a smell of values and life purpose.
13. Sharing values and, above all, the great ideal of life. Bring to find the values. Make them present. In coaching, we call life purpose, others call life project, your ultimate goal, etc, it is to capture, recognize and know the different ingredients that you want toaccompany you on the road (values, gifts, talents, passions, etc.) and above all, to follow the direction that gives meaning to your life: What gives meaning to your life? .¿Where to direct your life? Whichinspires you to do what you do ?. Without what you could not live? .What Is your deepest desire ?. Sit in a quiet place. Take a few deep inhalations and exhalations. Go back to that place that gives you energy and peace. Visualize it .Soak of all energy andexplore it for all your senses. Recover your dreams, your visions. Dust off the illusion. Check or build your purpose. Include your values . Identify your talents, your gifts and incorporate. Put aside your beliefs, barriers and fears. Make a plan of action. Divide it into achievable goals and give yourfirst step. Sorry I exceeded. From my perspective, I think it worthwhile to reflect and if we so choose, we incorporate those elements that are not present in our communication, and thatwe are aware of the gift, the essence, the opportunity and the importance involves the encounter with the other.