INTERESTELLAR. Needs vs values.


 

 

Directed by Christopher Nolan (Origen, Memento) in 2014. The film raises the end of our planet; resources run out. There is a plague, a kind of dust that penetrates into the depths of countryside, cities and bodies.  Air becomes unbreathable. A world where is more important to be a good farmer who can take care of the land and get fruit, than be an engineer. There is no funding to study the space, nor for weapons. In this context it was decided to send several manned missions to 12 planets, where it will be possible that there may have a condition fit for human life.
Each of the characters in the film makes its decisions based on personal balance tilts to needs, or to the values, as in many of the dilemmas that arise in our lives.

Right after watching this film had a curiosity that kept me worried. Specifically, it were the words of a starring, Dr. Mann (Matt Damon) who stated “You can not imagine what I suffered, I do not want anyone to go through this. Not having anyone to communicate.”

The starting point of this article derives from the following question: what causes said protagonist tries to kill mission fellows, who have come to check possibilities of starting there a future?

When needs is over values

It is nothing other than we need. In this case avoid loneliness in perpetuity.  Man is a relational being. We are essentially open to other beings, so in that relation unfold all abilities and wealth of our nature. As Ortega y Gasset said “Man is a social being in the most elemental texture, it is not something accidental and occurred”. Up on the novel by Daniel Defoe, “Robinson Crusoe”, our hero has to create an imaginary “companion”: Friday, to take that loneliness, that harmful isolation.

Now comes in the category of needs developed by Abraham Maslow. The five differentiated:

pyramid-ok1
• Basic or physiological
• Security
• affiliate
• recognition
• self-actualization

The standard of this theory is that if Basic needs can´t be covered, the upper echelon won´t be covered. That is, unless you have food and other basics needs covered, you can´t hope to cover social needs.
Our protagonist, having covered physiological and security needs (for the moment), is positioned in a situation where he wants to meet this need at the expense of their moral and ethical principles. That is seeking the relational need, as if it were food, it converts it into a primitive being. However, it is not the only character that, in an extreme situation (the extinction of the planet) looks for other ways other than the logic of survival.

• Another character, Tom (Casey Affleck) feels the need to stay with your family and take care of their land and reject the help of his sister, NASA scientist, to pass on to a secure facility, even by sacrificing his family.
What it takes to make this decision?meaning

We can talk about the need to find an ultimate meaning to what remains of existence. We can speak of a choice based on the freedom of it, and eventually materializes to remain in the care of their land. It is a need for meaning. Possibly, for many people, is not equipped with a logic, however, is their decision which is accompanied by something that has given meaning to his life, and it reaches to the very survival necessity, in case to be subjected to a dilemma .

Probably, the Mandred Max Neef and Martin Hopenhayn theories which appear in the book “Development at human scale” (1986), complement Maslow studies; they tell us that there is a system of nine needs and four embodiments: subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, creation, recreation, identity and freedom by being, having, doing and relating.

When values are above needs

  • Another character is that of Dr. Brand (Michael Caine) who runs the last stronghold of NASA, and he believes that a wormhole, which has been discovered in the solar system in orbit around Saturn, is the only chance of survival for mankind: the goal is through the wormhole to colonize new worlds in another galaxy.However, despite devote all his life to the study of space and black holes, has not been able to find the equation that solves the problem of transport through these elements. Years pass and he still maintains its plans, for the sole purpose of providing hope to humanity.
    Here is clearly the decision to provide last option to mankind, even though he knows it is impossible to achieve.Here his values ​​come into play and it reminds me a character of Unamuno´s novel, “San Manuel, good and martyr” who, despite, having lost faith, continuing role because he thinks people´s happiness is above his lack of faith.

When values are above needs

  • Finally, we have the protagonist, Joseph Cooper (Matthew Mc Conaughey), who bears the responsibility of piloting one of the spacecraft that go into finding missions to other planets.Cooper must decide between abandoning their children or save humanity.
    We face another dilemma, that of staying with loved ones, or embark on a mission to help a wider group. Need to children´s love, or search for something bigger: the common good.

How are the decisions we make? What are they based?

I think that, ultimately, the needs are determined, as Maslow said, according to the level we occupy in the pyramid. However, the value ​​cutting across this pyramid, to finish forming another necessity; the putting into play your values ​​and, in my opinion, is intimately linked to the need for self-actualization. Values shape the meaning we apply to our lives, they mark our way. We enter in the land of self-fulfillment and in the meaning of what came to this world. It is comparable to the state of peace and quiet, which is reached when we do something that it gives us authenticity. And this decision based on values, is also a necessity. A need focus on not failing yourself. There is a need for personal commitment. The intimate feeling of legacy.

However, the needs of Maslow also catch us like a fly in a spider web. We are able to let go of the first category-physiological-in our society with relative ease. tela de arañaHowever, we were more engaged with the security need (examples such as insurance, mortgages, behaviors, etc). The membership need is very difficult to release, and the recognition need are most engage us. To avoid this, there is only one possibility and that is to become aware of our ego. In its last stage, Maslow unfolded the need for recognition in two (uniqueness and variety) and the need for self-fulfillment in growth and contribution.

At this point, we can say that desires are the social expression of needs
Many times, we meet needs and desires does not cover what we actually we need (an example, parents who give their children what they ask them, when in reality, which is demanding is a need for affection or company).

¿What happens if we devote more attention to meet the need for growth and contribution?

Then, we are heading to perform actions that give our lives meaning and contribute to generating growth in our environment in a ecologically way and no selfishly.
No wonder our internal compass is magnetized these days. To mark the chosen direction, we should look inside ourselves, to know us, to reflect on who we are and who we want to be, about where we want to direct our lives. We must remember what the meaning, purpose, direction that we give our steps. This, undoubtedly, will provide us coordinates of our inner selves.

But, we must be willing to leave our comfort zone, to not get carried away by our fears, our limiting beliefs, and our barriers. We must be willing to cross the threshold of our comfort, of our safe and take steps toward that area where personal growth and development occurs (today, more than ever). No need to wait until our planet is consumed.
goals
Self-knowledge allow us to identify our strengths, potential within us, and also, our weaknesses, what moves us away from what we really want to be and achieve. Our values will give us that perseverance and persistence necessary when we may not see the end of the tunnel. Undertakes necessary steps to achieve your goals, whatever you wish. Scale to the top of the pyramid, because there is where the need for self, which all of us carries inside, and that, consciously or unconsciously we pursue during and / or at some point in our existence. Your dreams are there for some reason. Discover them and make your decision… 

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THE ENCOUNTER. 13 points you should keep in mind before starting communication.


It always amazes me the important role of communication in our lives, as the maintool to interpellate the reality around us, because it is a medium that we can manage our own will and It is one of the best tool that you can use to analyze yourself and answer your last question: Who am I ?. quien soy However, samples of communication today, indicate that the facts are more indicative of truthfulness than words. And the hackneyed phrase words are gone with the wind, gaining strength to meet the incongruity of the issuer, justified or not, and, ultimately, to recognize the action, as the secondary stealing the spotlight the leading lady. According to a study by Dr. Luan Brizendine, published in his book “The FemaleBrain”, it is estimated that a woman can transmit about 20,000 words per day,and a man, about 7000 words. That is, we pass a vast content at the end of day, in other words, we interact withthe world around us, through verbal communication. At this point, we can consider communication as vital to our development as individuals and as being relating instrument. So what is happening to us ?. We made use of technology to develop innovative media, we have developedmany theories and applications to be more effective in the management of this instrument, education sets its foundation on the basis of communication, the media is more than ever present in each minute of our lives, and however, if we did an exercise in self-reflection, we would end up not being satisfied, how we manage the dialogue in our different systems of relationship. When I reflect on this, I come, in the foreground, the text “Creative Intelligencephilosopher Alfonso López Quintás. In this book, López Quintás, explains that “finding implies entreverar own sphereof life to another reality actively react to my presence. Meet is to be present, in thesense of exchanging creative possibilities of an order or another. It also introduces how we should prepare for the meeting, which is none otherthan effort. we must strive to prepare for the meeting. Immediately appeared the following questions: how we prepare ?, what do we need to stake ?. We can consider the following requirements that enhance the meeting:
1. Attitude of generosity.
generosidad This is starting the encounter, dialogue, unpretentious domain or possess. Unlikegiven the possibilities of enrichment reporting, we must be generous to build a new creative space.
2. Stand at the right distance. Sometimes we are too close to each other or to a far distance, we can not consider the totality of reality presented to us either in the form of a painting, a photograph, or a person. What we do is that “distanciajustaout of focus”. For the meeting, we forget that the person you are going to establish communication, a dialogue, etc consists of a dimension or biographical, family, educational, workplace, etc. and possibly it help us connect better and above all, to respect. On the other hand, no position on the proper distance, it can lead to melting,leading to lose that perspective and not get neither the presence nor the meeting.And also, it can lead to estrangement.
3. Avoid reductionism. Involves allowing let the other be what it is. Do not reduce it to our convenience or interests, not stereotype the person. We fully in the field of criticism, the label trial.We see and reduce or magnify the other, depending on the lens that we apply.
4. Tolerating the risk involved delivery.
Difficult dilemma: Do we cover with the armor, or remove us ?. arriesgarHow you present mask dance of the meeting ?. To practice fair play, must surrender to the meeting, being yourself. Quitting the fears, barriers, beliefs aside, because the result is worth it.
5. Be available for playmate. The desire to get into communication, carrying the suitcase the above requirements, makes us available to the other. It is out of the comfort zone and be willing to be in dialogue.estardisponible It is important to mention the well-known saboteurs as distraction, not present, or the most serious of all, do not interact and opt for silence (it is preferable to communicate our unwillingness to dialogue and give it a reason).
6. Accuracy and confidence. Openness and transparency both in our words, and what motivates us to say them.  Alignment between what I think and what I say. In many areas it is difficult to apply this requirement, but we must make an effort again, and opt for a constructive, positive, assertive dialogue, and, of course, respect. veracidad Confidence in the transmitter and receiver. Go to your meeting with the trust placed in me: In my courage, my courage to leave the comfort zone, to show that I am, to be frank, ultimately, confidence in my authenticity. And trust in thee, to know that you are willing to encounter, suggests that,recognize my predisposition and the requirements that I put into practice.
7. The gratitude and patience. This is welcome and thank all that enriches us, and what better area than theevent. paciencia On the other hand, we talk about patience, and ability to adapt to the pace and composition of the other (their times, their silence, their form of expression,nonverbal language, their accents, their sense of humor, etc). Patience to recognize the other, to accept it, to listen, to communicate.
8. Ability of wonder and awe. It is one of the most beautiful and enriching encounter concepts.
asombro The amazement. Empty ourselves of what we expect, lower body, eyes squinting child, be present to impress by the wonder of what surrounds us. It is increasingly difficult to rave about, take everything for granted, we expect “the most difficult yet,” novelty. And yet, is not it amazing what happens around you ?: From sunrises (how is itpossible that is such a perfect night and day cycle?) Through the TV  (an invention where images are , which are sent through a wave?) to the same fact of life.
9. The understanding and sympathy. To understand is to accept that the other can be different, take the dialogic look, a holistic understanding of the person. Means accepting that are unique beings, but different.comprension Sympathy, understood as “easy to tune with others, engage their tastes and way of being, coupling step with yours, vibrate with their fortunes and misfortunes.”
10. The tenderness, kindness, friendliness. It is important to reflect itself adopted this approach in our communications. It would be valuable to reflect on integrating these components in our dialogues. Stop screaming, verbal violence, abuse of speech. ternura Even with those we love, comes these harmful attitudes. For what ?. The result,although we think that we will win the war of words, not worth, not make us better,not allow yourself to be the other. Only wins the ego. Lost ground. Be detached. Incorporate these ingredients to your life purpose. Enrich it. Allows accompany you on the way to meet. Needless to say, the effect it has on education, organization of enterprises, inrelationships. Just choose how you want to present to meet: With a hammer, or a hug ?.
11. The flexibility. If I am inflexible, I is difficult to connect with others. I find it difficult to understand,recognize, value, and above all, amazed. flexibilidad The inflexible man admits more perspective than his. No acknowledges that other light sources may be able to surprise you with ideas and fruitful projects. It is, therefore, unilateral and impoverishes his life to end, as close to the inexhaustible source of wealth that is the game of encounter. I would go a little further. I’d ask you replanteases your theories, your beliefs, your habits, your hobbies, your phobias, your tics, and explores the following questions: What am I missing acting this way ?, how my life would be without this behavior?What would get? What else would get ?.
12. Fidelity. It is the spiritual capacity to fulfill the promises. He who is faithful fulfills the promise despite causing changes over time in the ideas, beliefs and feelings.” Applied to the meeting, fidelity is postulated as the finale of the dialogue. It is the natural extension of candor and veracity. Is to prevent words are blown away. Is to take action, the content of the communication, because we are, among other things, what we say and what we do. This fidelity, also has a smell of values and life purpose.
13. Sharing values and, above all, the great ideal of life. Bring to find the values. Make them present. In coaching, we call life purpose, others call life project, your ultimate goal, etc, it is to capture, recognize and know the different ingredients that you want toaccompany you on the road (values, gifts, talents, passions, etc.) and above all, to follow the direction that gives meaning to your life: What gives meaning to your life? .¿Where to direct your life? Whichinspires you to do what you do ?. Without what you could not live? .What Is your deepest desire ?. Sit in a quiet place. Take a few deep inhalations and exhalations. Go back to that place that gives you energy and peace. Visualize it .Soak of all energy andexplore it for all your senses. Recover your dreams, your visions. Dust off the illusion. Check or build your purpose. Include your values . Identify your talents, your gifts and incorporate. Put aside your beliefs, barriers and fears. Make a plan of action. Divide it into achievable goals and give yourfirst step. Sorry I exceeded. From my perspective, I think it worthwhile to reflect and if we so choose, we incorporate those elements that are not present in our communication, and thatwe are aware of the gift, the essence, the opportunity and the importance involves the encounter with the other.
Regards.

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB (The Survivor). (The Heroe II).


Directed in 2013 by Jean- Marc Vallée and shot in just 25 days on a shoestring budget, is a biopic based on the life of Ron Woodroof ( old glory of rodeos and a special fondness for drugs and bourbon ) , and starring Matthew McConaughey, Jared Leto, Jennifer Garner and Steve Zahn .

What is it that makes us get out of bed every day, but the worst conditions?

What power moves those trying to find new ways to solve their problems or achieve their goals , though , and again become closer to the point of leaving in an apparent impasse? .

We’re talking about survival. Survival , need not be reflected only in the fact of wanting to live or want to continue existence. Which obviously is our deepest instincts.

It is also to provide a meaning to your existence. The state of happiness , is not achieved only having basic needs met . This is when your values, beliefs and rights are being violated , weakness and strength serves fight it with all your might against what is being taken from you . This is not to betray what you have decided to accompany you on your way. This is the true path of the hero. Actually, it is building a healthy self-esteem and respect for yourself.

And it happens often . In day to day. Not have to be confined in a concentration camp riddled with swastikas . O within the group of buyers who make our protagonist. Since the context here directs us to a struggle between the interests of management ( influences, economic agreements , etc. ) and a handful of human beings affected by HIV virus , who receive a treatment that is proven , which is beneficial , arguing that these drugs are not approved by regulatory agencies. And what is the real underlying reason that there is a drug that has been researched and manufactured by a pharmaceutical company , and the need to promote.

Stunning struggle, holding our protagonist.

And what do we do when we are in a situation that is being violated what they believe , part of our essence ? .

Some take the passive way. To maintain the status quo. To let the storm pass .You make it as if nothing had happened . Putting on a blindfold . Do you resonate ? .

Others opt for an active way. To defend what is important and essential in their lives. Can we speak of ” not themselves be failed .” To be faithful to what you decide is important.

Interesting point .

What it takes to not be failed yourself ?

First, we could talk about SELFDISCOVERYDo we really know ? . Do we know what our strengths and weaknesses, what our values ​​are , and what we give meaning and priority in our lives? , Are they present in day to day? What activities and behaviors in our daily life, honor and dishonor what ? .autocomocimiento
Proposal : Go to a quiet place . Curl up and make a simple list of daily activities.Reflect and write down what values ​​and counter values ​​are present. For example, if you respect for a value, and are not applied in an activity, the equivalent might be present , it would disrespect ( can occur in any of your environments : family , family , work, friendship )

Become aware of it. Now you’d find in a conflict of values. And hence derives a growing unease that sometimes will not be able to discern from where. In other words. You ‘re dealing with an inner struggle with yourself. Where the incongruity between what you think , what you say , and what you do not in the same point.They have decided to part ways . And from there , it looks like things are not going well . Problems arise.

Please review this list and realize themselves are present , if they are not, or if you would like that were more present in your daily life . Then design a plan to incorporate and revise periodically. I’m sure that the quality of your experiences you live improved, and the response of your environment will not be made to wait.

PUT LIMITS .
Once you find yourself completed the previous phase, decide what your limits are.How far do you let your environment exceeds these limits , and in conflict with what is important to you? .
limites




Our protagonist decides that his environment is toxic to achieve their goals , or simply to survive. And put aside .

You decide . How are these limits : flexible impassable , solid , fragile …

We’re not talking about you becoming a Sioux Indian who gets up in arms as someone desecrates their territory. While yes, you are aware of what they are for those limits that mark you ‘ve decided what is the ultimate goal of these limits , and yes you are being helpful or not. Once you begin to incorporate them into your life , you can work with them and transform them or secure them .

Proposal : Draw a circle from the center and trace several straight lines , for the spokes of a bicycle wheel. Name each portion, which will be the major relationships in your life : work, family , family, etc. .

Indicates values ​​that you would like to be present in each area and become aware of what they are not . With this you can have a better understanding of what kind of relationships you keep and how to build you really want to enjoy.

ASSERTIVENESS .
We are already at the stage of the way. Day to day. How I can implement this in my daily life? . Being assertive.

asertividad
Assertiveness is often defined as a communicational behavior in which the person does not harm or submits to the will of others, but expresses his convictions and defend their rights. It is worth mentioning that assertiveness is a behavior of people , behavior . It is also a form of conscious , consistent , clear, direct , balanced expression , whose purpose is to communicate our ideas and feelings or defend our legitimate rights without the intent to injure or harm , acting from an inner state of confidence , instead of emotionality typical limiting anxiety, guilt or anger .

Here are some of the main characteristics of assertive person :

 

  • Go and accept reality
  • Act and speak based on facts and objectives
  • Makes decisions by choice
  • Accept your mistakes and successes
  • It is assertive , while being gentle and considerate
  • It is not aggressive ; is willing to lead , and to let others direct it
  • You can grow , develop and succeed without resentment
  • Allow others to mature , develop and succeed
  • Ask for what you need, says what he thinks and expresses his feelings with respect.

What do you think ? Sounds good , right? . Although it is not an easy task . It’s something we have to train ourselves . Step. But I set it as a key objective, I is that we are still not assertive, or want to be.

DISCIPLINE .
This is the ” core” of any changes we want to make in our lives . Okay for all . The ultimate goal translates into habits. By nature , it is easier to adopt habits that are closer to pleasure, that those who are positioned around the slaughter and / or discomfort.
disciplina
Take the example of Woodroof . Once you decide your goals of living beyond 30 days in which it was predicted an end to journey becomes a true expert in nutrition, which decides only draw on what is right for your body.

New research from the University College London recruited 96 people who were interested in very simple form new habits such as eating fruits at meals or running 15 minutes a day .

It took an average of 66 days to achieve consolidate the habit. The practice undoubtedly provides some automation but these gains could be lost if the person leaves the project before 60 days , where the habit finally consolidated.However, not everyone needed 66 days ; a few privileged enough to them 18 days while others it needed up to 254 days, almost nine months to achieve consolidate the habit.

– Researchers also make us notice some details that could be useful to us in our daily lives :

 

  • Skip a day at the training does not reduce our chances of forming the habit.
  • Just need more days to form a habit does not indicate that it will not be consolidated but are more resistant to routine people.
  • To form a habit in the early days is essential strong intrinsic motivation and a high degree of persistence .


RECOGNITION.
Acknowledge your efforts and reward it . This will improve your relationship with yourself . It will build a healthier self-esteem. Admire  and express it yourself .Remember . From the inside to out. if  you do not recognize your effort, your talent, even your weaknesses , your environment can do it for you, but it will not be every day of your life to remind you, and will not achieve integrate .

Also recognizes your surroundings . All that has offered you , gives you and show you . Raved and express it. Moreover, in situations where you feel vulnerable.
reconocimiento
Our protagonist , happens to be a die homophobic Texan cowboy , to have as a traveling companion in his last years , a transsexual . And finally manages to recognize you as a person who suffers as he does, and just like you do. That is, someone who feels their fears , hopes , goals, breastplates , weaknesses, just like you . That is the lesson of Woodroof . Obtained when the frame of reference changes. Curious and parallel McConaughey, also undergoes a radical change in their profession, to change their frame of reference , as wheel as it is not used to doing : Shots up to 15 minutes , one camera and a shoestring budget . And, recently , has been rewarded for his professional environment , with the highest distinction.

Proposal: Sit quietly and do a review of your milestones and achievements . You can draw a line , scoring in the top of the year in which it occurred. Become aware of those moments and analyze them . Shells that skills , knowledge, values ​​, put into practice. Acknowledge them and value them . Also check out your mistakes or weaknesses , and learn from them . If you are going through a bad time , they can serve to help you reconnect with your true self, and not confuse external circumstances , with your true essence . Undoubtedly , you will achieve ponderarte .

Smile ,and give you a tribute yourself . Acknowledge yourself and reward yourself . And I Buy it as a habit . This you can also apply to your environment. Can you recognize some talent , your friends, or at work , or with your partner . Just express it honestly. and reward it too, if  it comes from within . It’s symbolic, but acquire this habit you will report higher quality relationships.

Finally, I leave you with the words of our cowboy , ” … and I have one life … one for it to mean something … “

A big hug .

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