INTERESTELLAR. Needs vs values.


 

 

Directed by Christopher Nolan (Origen, Memento) in 2014. The film raises the end of our planet; resources run out. There is a plague, a kind of dust that penetrates into the depths of countryside, cities and bodies.  Air becomes unbreathable. A world where is more important to be a good farmer who can take care of the land and get fruit, than be an engineer. There is no funding to study the space, nor for weapons. In this context it was decided to send several manned missions to 12 planets, where it will be possible that there may have a condition fit for human life.
Each of the characters in the film makes its decisions based on personal balance tilts to needs, or to the values, as in many of the dilemmas that arise in our lives.

Right after watching this film had a curiosity that kept me worried. Specifically, it were the words of a starring, Dr. Mann (Matt Damon) who stated “You can not imagine what I suffered, I do not want anyone to go through this. Not having anyone to communicate.”

The starting point of this article derives from the following question: what causes said protagonist tries to kill mission fellows, who have come to check possibilities of starting there a future?

When needs is over values

It is nothing other than we need. In this case avoid loneliness in perpetuity.  Man is a relational being. We are essentially open to other beings, so in that relation unfold all abilities and wealth of our nature. As Ortega y Gasset said “Man is a social being in the most elemental texture, it is not something accidental and occurred”. Up on the novel by Daniel Defoe, “Robinson Crusoe”, our hero has to create an imaginary “companion”: Friday, to take that loneliness, that harmful isolation.

Now comes in the category of needs developed by Abraham Maslow. The five differentiated:

pyramid-ok1
• Basic or physiological
• Security
• affiliate
• recognition
• self-actualization

The standard of this theory is that if Basic needs can´t be covered, the upper echelon won´t be covered. That is, unless you have food and other basics needs covered, you can´t hope to cover social needs.
Our protagonist, having covered physiological and security needs (for the moment), is positioned in a situation where he wants to meet this need at the expense of their moral and ethical principles. That is seeking the relational need, as if it were food, it converts it into a primitive being. However, it is not the only character that, in an extreme situation (the extinction of the planet) looks for other ways other than the logic of survival.

• Another character, Tom (Casey Affleck) feels the need to stay with your family and take care of their land and reject the help of his sister, NASA scientist, to pass on to a secure facility, even by sacrificing his family.
What it takes to make this decision?meaning

We can talk about the need to find an ultimate meaning to what remains of existence. We can speak of a choice based on the freedom of it, and eventually materializes to remain in the care of their land. It is a need for meaning. Possibly, for many people, is not equipped with a logic, however, is their decision which is accompanied by something that has given meaning to his life, and it reaches to the very survival necessity, in case to be subjected to a dilemma .

Probably, the Mandred Max Neef and Martin Hopenhayn theories which appear in the book “Development at human scale” (1986), complement Maslow studies; they tell us that there is a system of nine needs and four embodiments: subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, creation, recreation, identity and freedom by being, having, doing and relating.

When values are above needs

  • Another character is that of Dr. Brand (Michael Caine) who runs the last stronghold of NASA, and he believes that a wormhole, which has been discovered in the solar system in orbit around Saturn, is the only chance of survival for mankind: the goal is through the wormhole to colonize new worlds in another galaxy.However, despite devote all his life to the study of space and black holes, has not been able to find the equation that solves the problem of transport through these elements. Years pass and he still maintains its plans, for the sole purpose of providing hope to humanity.
    Here is clearly the decision to provide last option to mankind, even though he knows it is impossible to achieve.Here his values ​​come into play and it reminds me a character of Unamuno´s novel, “San Manuel, good and martyr” who, despite, having lost faith, continuing role because he thinks people´s happiness is above his lack of faith.

When values are above needs

  • Finally, we have the protagonist, Joseph Cooper (Matthew Mc Conaughey), who bears the responsibility of piloting one of the spacecraft that go into finding missions to other planets.Cooper must decide between abandoning their children or save humanity.
    We face another dilemma, that of staying with loved ones, or embark on a mission to help a wider group. Need to children´s love, or search for something bigger: the common good.

How are the decisions we make? What are they based?

I think that, ultimately, the needs are determined, as Maslow said, according to the level we occupy in the pyramid. However, the value ​​cutting across this pyramid, to finish forming another necessity; the putting into play your values ​​and, in my opinion, is intimately linked to the need for self-actualization. Values shape the meaning we apply to our lives, they mark our way. We enter in the land of self-fulfillment and in the meaning of what came to this world. It is comparable to the state of peace and quiet, which is reached when we do something that it gives us authenticity. And this decision based on values, is also a necessity. A need focus on not failing yourself. There is a need for personal commitment. The intimate feeling of legacy.

However, the needs of Maslow also catch us like a fly in a spider web. We are able to let go of the first category-physiological-in our society with relative ease. tela de arañaHowever, we were more engaged with the security need (examples such as insurance, mortgages, behaviors, etc). The membership need is very difficult to release, and the recognition need are most engage us. To avoid this, there is only one possibility and that is to become aware of our ego. In its last stage, Maslow unfolded the need for recognition in two (uniqueness and variety) and the need for self-fulfillment in growth and contribution.

At this point, we can say that desires are the social expression of needs
Many times, we meet needs and desires does not cover what we actually we need (an example, parents who give their children what they ask them, when in reality, which is demanding is a need for affection or company).

¿What happens if we devote more attention to meet the need for growth and contribution?

Then, we are heading to perform actions that give our lives meaning and contribute to generating growth in our environment in a ecologically way and no selfishly.
No wonder our internal compass is magnetized these days. To mark the chosen direction, we should look inside ourselves, to know us, to reflect on who we are and who we want to be, about where we want to direct our lives. We must remember what the meaning, purpose, direction that we give our steps. This, undoubtedly, will provide us coordinates of our inner selves.

But, we must be willing to leave our comfort zone, to not get carried away by our fears, our limiting beliefs, and our barriers. We must be willing to cross the threshold of our comfort, of our safe and take steps toward that area where personal growth and development occurs (today, more than ever). No need to wait until our planet is consumed.
goals
Self-knowledge allow us to identify our strengths, potential within us, and also, our weaknesses, what moves us away from what we really want to be and achieve. Our values will give us that perseverance and persistence necessary when we may not see the end of the tunnel. Undertakes necessary steps to achieve your goals, whatever you wish. Scale to the top of the pyramid, because there is where the need for self, which all of us carries inside, and that, consciously or unconsciously we pursue during and / or at some point in our existence. Your dreams are there for some reason. Discover them and make your decision… 

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6 ACTITUDES DEL COACHING DIALÓGICO A TENER EN CUENTA EN LA REALIZACIÓN DE LA ENTREVISTA.


En ocasiones, cuando finalizas una entrevista (empecemos por la más conocida, la de selección), si realizas una autoexploración, o un repaso mental acerca de cómo te has sentido durante la misma, quizás encuentres indicios de que tu disposición, o tu estado interno no ha sido el idóneo, o no te has posicionado en aquel que te permite crear un mejor clima o predisposición para un mejor desarrollo de la entrevista. En otros casos, puedes caer en la cuenta, de que te has “salido” de la entrevista, porque han surgido pensamientos que te han llevado a alejarte del encuentro con el entrevistado, o en otras,  han echo su aparición otros “intrusos”, en forma de efecto halo, por ejemplo. Si os parece vamos a repasar algunos de estos elementos ya conocidos:

  • Efecto halo: Es un  sesgo cognitivo por el cual la percepción de un rasgo particular es influenciada por la percepción de rasgos anteriores en una secuencia de efecto halointerpretaciones. Ejemplo, si alguien es muy  atractivo le atribuimos otros rasgos de personalidad atractivos sin saber si los tiene o no. (es guapo/a luego inteligente, generoso, buena persona etcétera)

 

  • Efecto contraste:  Es el aumento o disminución, en relación a la normalidad, de la percepción, cognición  y el rendimiento, como resultado de la exposición inmediatamente previa o simultánea a un estímulo de valor mayor o menor en la misma dimensión.Así, por ejemplo, una persona parecerá más atractiva de lo normal cuando sea comparada con una persona menos atractiva y menos atractiva cuando sea comparada con una persona más atractiva.
  • Efecto espejo: Consiste en que el entrevistador valora mejor a aquellos candidatos que reúnen cualidades o actitudes altamente valoradas por él , o que el mismo posee, aunque no tengan tanto que ver con el puesto.

Por ello, es importante utilizar recursos, e incorporar y desarrollar competencias que pueden hacer que mejore nuestra concentración, presencia, eficacia y objetivos. En primer lugar, sería beneficioso no perder de vista el enfoque de encuentro entre dos personas, que lleva parejo la entrevista, y para ello sería útil revisar un post que elaboré sobre los requisitos del encuentro, y que pueden ayudar a reforzar este enfoque, antes, durante y después de la entrevista.

https://tuprimerpaso.wordpress.com/2013/12/05/el-encuentro-lo-recuerdas/

Adentrémonos en las competencias y actitudes que se trabajan en coaching, para ver cómo podemos hacer uso de ellas en el contexto que nos ocupa:

1.- Respeto. Es evidente que esta actitud debe estar presente en todas las relaciones o encuentros que llevemos a cabo, aunque considero importante que tomemos esta actitud como la que va a impregnar el proceso en su totalidad. Esta definición nos puede ayudar: Respetar a una persona es relacionarse con ella desde la asunción de que es una realidad, ante la que la única respuesta adecuada es el aprecio, y por tanto no puede ser reducida a objeto: algo a lo que se puede  invadir, controlar o dominar.

2.- La curiosidad y la búsqueda. Puede ser útil el preguntarnos acerca de para qué el entrevistado

curiosidad
 ha actuado de una manera u otra, o para qué ha tomado una decisión, y no otra, o para qué ha emprendido un camino hacia un objetivo determinado. Consiste en la predisposición a detenerse frente a las cosas, a preguntarse sobre ellas y tratar de ir más allá de la apariencia o el juicio.

3.- La confianza. La confianza es una actitud básica para la comunicación auténtica y para el desarrollo personal. Es asumir el reto de afrontar un proyecto, con la esperanza firme de que los resultados y el encuentro merecerán la pena. Tiene una doble vertiente:

-confianza en las actitudes y compentecias del entrevistador.

-confianza en que el proceso en cuestión, una vez determinada y realizada la preparación correspondiente, e incluido las herramientas adecuadas, nos llevará al objetivo que queremos encontrar.

4.- Veracidad.

Significa que el entrevistador es franco y transparente en la comunicación e interacción con el cliente. Ser veraz significa no dejar que ni lo falso, ni la apariencia estén presentes en dicho proceso.

No sería mala idea hacer partícipe al cliente de dicho aspecto, aunque no como arma arrojadiza, o de advertencia, sino como clave para el desarrollo de la entrevista, y aprovechar para pactar o indicar que en caso de incoherencias el entrevistador las expresará (al realizarlo de esta manera, el entrevistador queda en una posición más veraz ya que hace partícipe al candidato acerca de sus necesidades para cumplir con los objetivos del proceso).

5.- Presencia plena.

No hay presencia cuando no nos reservamos, cuando en lugar del aquí y ahora estamos en otro lugar, con la mente en otro sitio (preocupaciones, prejuicios, inquietudes que en este momento no corresponden).presencia plena

Es importante que antes del proceso, tomemos consciencia de nosotros mismos, de los pensamientos, emociones, del cuerpo, con la finalidad de poder aquietar la mente y las emociones, buscando así un estado más relajado y consciente.

Una práctica puede ser,antes de realizar la entrevista, realizar tres inspiraciones y expiraciones profundas de esta manera  y tomar consciencia de aquello que nos preocupa y que nos impedirá estar 100% en el desarrollo de la entrevista. También es importante realizar este chequeo cuando termine el proceso, y hacer un seguimiento para comprobar que no sigue ocurriendo en futuras ocasiones.

6.- La escucha.

El entrevistador puede escuchar:

-lo que dice el entrevistado.

-el tipo de lenguaje que utiliza .

-lo que no dice.

-el tono del vozescucha

-posibles incoherencias entre lo que el entrevistado dice y la forma y emocionalidad con la que lo está exprensando. La energía, el estado de ánimo.

– la corporalidad del entrevistado y la nuestra.

-elementos externos: Luz, ruido, teléfonos, etc

Por último, indicar que no sólamente estamos hablando de la entrevista de selección, hay otras en el contexto de una organización, que requieren de los entrevistadores la adopción de una actitud y competencias específicas.

La entrevista de inducción, la entrevista de evaluación, la entrevista de salida, la entrevista de campo, etc son otros ejemplos donde el objetivo será diferente, pero no por ello deja de ser un encuentro entre dos personas.

También quiero dejar constancia de los “malabarismos” que deben realizar muchos consultores de selección en la actualidad( perfil administrativo-comercial-consultor, todo en uno), que desemboca en un maremagnum de inmediatez y obejtvos.

Si perseguimos la confianza, la retención del talento, la fidelización, la alineación de valores y cultura, la gestión del cambio, etc no debemos perder de vista aquellas competencias y/ o actitudes que nos hacen ser más auténticos, conectar más con nuestra esencia (profesional y humana) y, a la postre, obtener mejores resultados y satisfacción.

 Un abrazo.

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THE ENCOUNTER. 13 points you should keep in mind before starting communication.


It always amazes me the important role of communication in our lives, as the maintool to interpellate the reality around us, because it is a medium that we can manage our own will and It is one of the best tool that you can use to analyze yourself and answer your last question: Who am I ?. quien soy However, samples of communication today, indicate that the facts are more indicative of truthfulness than words. And the hackneyed phrase words are gone with the wind, gaining strength to meet the incongruity of the issuer, justified or not, and, ultimately, to recognize the action, as the secondary stealing the spotlight the leading lady. According to a study by Dr. Luan Brizendine, published in his book “The FemaleBrain”, it is estimated that a woman can transmit about 20,000 words per day,and a man, about 7000 words. That is, we pass a vast content at the end of day, in other words, we interact withthe world around us, through verbal communication. At this point, we can consider communication as vital to our development as individuals and as being relating instrument. So what is happening to us ?. We made use of technology to develop innovative media, we have developedmany theories and applications to be more effective in the management of this instrument, education sets its foundation on the basis of communication, the media is more than ever present in each minute of our lives, and however, if we did an exercise in self-reflection, we would end up not being satisfied, how we manage the dialogue in our different systems of relationship. When I reflect on this, I come, in the foreground, the text “Creative Intelligencephilosopher Alfonso López Quintás. In this book, López Quintás, explains that “finding implies entreverar own sphereof life to another reality actively react to my presence. Meet is to be present, in thesense of exchanging creative possibilities of an order or another. It also introduces how we should prepare for the meeting, which is none otherthan effort. we must strive to prepare for the meeting. Immediately appeared the following questions: how we prepare ?, what do we need to stake ?. We can consider the following requirements that enhance the meeting:
1. Attitude of generosity.
generosidad This is starting the encounter, dialogue, unpretentious domain or possess. Unlikegiven the possibilities of enrichment reporting, we must be generous to build a new creative space.
2. Stand at the right distance. Sometimes we are too close to each other or to a far distance, we can not consider the totality of reality presented to us either in the form of a painting, a photograph, or a person. What we do is that “distanciajustaout of focus”. For the meeting, we forget that the person you are going to establish communication, a dialogue, etc consists of a dimension or biographical, family, educational, workplace, etc. and possibly it help us connect better and above all, to respect. On the other hand, no position on the proper distance, it can lead to melting,leading to lose that perspective and not get neither the presence nor the meeting.And also, it can lead to estrangement.
3. Avoid reductionism. Involves allowing let the other be what it is. Do not reduce it to our convenience or interests, not stereotype the person. We fully in the field of criticism, the label trial.We see and reduce or magnify the other, depending on the lens that we apply.
4. Tolerating the risk involved delivery.
Difficult dilemma: Do we cover with the armor, or remove us ?. arriesgarHow you present mask dance of the meeting ?. To practice fair play, must surrender to the meeting, being yourself. Quitting the fears, barriers, beliefs aside, because the result is worth it.
5. Be available for playmate. The desire to get into communication, carrying the suitcase the above requirements, makes us available to the other. It is out of the comfort zone and be willing to be in dialogue.estardisponible It is important to mention the well-known saboteurs as distraction, not present, or the most serious of all, do not interact and opt for silence (it is preferable to communicate our unwillingness to dialogue and give it a reason).
6. Accuracy and confidence. Openness and transparency both in our words, and what motivates us to say them.  Alignment between what I think and what I say. In many areas it is difficult to apply this requirement, but we must make an effort again, and opt for a constructive, positive, assertive dialogue, and, of course, respect. veracidad Confidence in the transmitter and receiver. Go to your meeting with the trust placed in me: In my courage, my courage to leave the comfort zone, to show that I am, to be frank, ultimately, confidence in my authenticity. And trust in thee, to know that you are willing to encounter, suggests that,recognize my predisposition and the requirements that I put into practice.
7. The gratitude and patience. This is welcome and thank all that enriches us, and what better area than theevent. paciencia On the other hand, we talk about patience, and ability to adapt to the pace and composition of the other (their times, their silence, their form of expression,nonverbal language, their accents, their sense of humor, etc). Patience to recognize the other, to accept it, to listen, to communicate.
8. Ability of wonder and awe. It is one of the most beautiful and enriching encounter concepts.
asombro The amazement. Empty ourselves of what we expect, lower body, eyes squinting child, be present to impress by the wonder of what surrounds us. It is increasingly difficult to rave about, take everything for granted, we expect “the most difficult yet,” novelty. And yet, is not it amazing what happens around you ?: From sunrises (how is itpossible that is such a perfect night and day cycle?) Through the TV  (an invention where images are , which are sent through a wave?) to the same fact of life.
9. The understanding and sympathy. To understand is to accept that the other can be different, take the dialogic look, a holistic understanding of the person. Means accepting that are unique beings, but different.comprension Sympathy, understood as “easy to tune with others, engage their tastes and way of being, coupling step with yours, vibrate with their fortunes and misfortunes.”
10. The tenderness, kindness, friendliness. It is important to reflect itself adopted this approach in our communications. It would be valuable to reflect on integrating these components in our dialogues. Stop screaming, verbal violence, abuse of speech. ternura Even with those we love, comes these harmful attitudes. For what ?. The result,although we think that we will win the war of words, not worth, not make us better,not allow yourself to be the other. Only wins the ego. Lost ground. Be detached. Incorporate these ingredients to your life purpose. Enrich it. Allows accompany you on the way to meet. Needless to say, the effect it has on education, organization of enterprises, inrelationships. Just choose how you want to present to meet: With a hammer, or a hug ?.
11. The flexibility. If I am inflexible, I is difficult to connect with others. I find it difficult to understand,recognize, value, and above all, amazed. flexibilidad The inflexible man admits more perspective than his. No acknowledges that other light sources may be able to surprise you with ideas and fruitful projects. It is, therefore, unilateral and impoverishes his life to end, as close to the inexhaustible source of wealth that is the game of encounter. I would go a little further. I’d ask you replanteases your theories, your beliefs, your habits, your hobbies, your phobias, your tics, and explores the following questions: What am I missing acting this way ?, how my life would be without this behavior?What would get? What else would get ?.
12. Fidelity. It is the spiritual capacity to fulfill the promises. He who is faithful fulfills the promise despite causing changes over time in the ideas, beliefs and feelings.” Applied to the meeting, fidelity is postulated as the finale of the dialogue. It is the natural extension of candor and veracity. Is to prevent words are blown away. Is to take action, the content of the communication, because we are, among other things, what we say and what we do. This fidelity, also has a smell of values and life purpose.
13. Sharing values and, above all, the great ideal of life. Bring to find the values. Make them present. In coaching, we call life purpose, others call life project, your ultimate goal, etc, it is to capture, recognize and know the different ingredients that you want toaccompany you on the road (values, gifts, talents, passions, etc.) and above all, to follow the direction that gives meaning to your life: What gives meaning to your life? .¿Where to direct your life? Whichinspires you to do what you do ?. Without what you could not live? .What Is your deepest desire ?. Sit in a quiet place. Take a few deep inhalations and exhalations. Go back to that place that gives you energy and peace. Visualize it .Soak of all energy andexplore it for all your senses. Recover your dreams, your visions. Dust off the illusion. Check or build your purpose. Include your values . Identify your talents, your gifts and incorporate. Put aside your beliefs, barriers and fears. Make a plan of action. Divide it into achievable goals and give yourfirst step. Sorry I exceeded. From my perspective, I think it worthwhile to reflect and if we so choose, we incorporate those elements that are not present in our communication, and thatwe are aware of the gift, the essence, the opportunity and the importance involves the encounter with the other.
Regards.